Missing in action but now I'm back

It has been a long time since I wrote and truthfully there have been times when I thought - why continue it has been too long but I began the blog to document my journey and the "missing" time and the what/why of it is indeed part of the journey so I will begin filling the blanks.  After my last post in July I had started to post again a couple of weeks later but I experienced a sense of apathy towards most things in my life.  I would think about doing things, plan on doing things (such as updating the blog) but all I wanted to do was be in my pajamas in bed.  I accomplished only what absolutely needed to be done.  I realized as I was going through this time period that I had to let the feelings come and that in fact this was part of my grief process.  The shock of Clint's death had worn off and instead of feeling relief that I made it through the first year all I felt was an incredible and deep sadness, not the initial tearful "Oh my gosh I can't believe this" sadness but a deep soul aching sadness that had to be experienced.  I am doing better now and life is moving forward.  I am so very thankful that God, my friends and family have seen me through this "dark" period.   I am committing to writing on a regular basis...I think it will be good for me.  There has been a lot of things that have happened over the last four plus months and I will fill in the the gaps on my journey to get caught up.