I have recently spent quite a bit of time reflecting on my life; where it is, where I want it to go, the past, the present and the future. I started this blog after my husband died and I was trying to find my way through grief and figure out who I was. I have realized that who I am is continuing to evolve. For so long I had identified myself as a wife but that ended abruptly with Clint's passing. So while I know my new role - simply as me being me I am still trying to figure out life and who I am evolving to be. I had decided to abandon this blog and just live but recently and with other life changes that have occurred decided that perhaps for the new year I should resurrect and try my hand at it again.
A lot of things that have happened since I last posted. Some good, some challenging. I've had some wonderful experiences and I was able to get a grief ministry started at my Church as well as facilitate a Life Group for people who have experienced a loss and are seeking God's purpose/direction in their lives. I have always wanted to take my experience and help others. Other big changes are my dad was ill this past year and has moved in with me; this brings peace of mind that I can keep an eye on him but has also been a major change in my life. I have to be cognizant of his needs in my role of supportive care giver and this has impacted my choices in what I do, where I go etc. He is currently reliant upon me for transportation and I know this has been difficult for him since he is independent and I am busy working two jobs. Hopefully he will resume driving soon and that should help both of us. I won't go into all that has happened since my last post since I am focused on looking and moving forward.
A new year, another new beginning always brings reflection on where I've been and where I want to go. This time last year I was making tentative plans to reenter the dating world....it has been so very long since I dated that I really don't know how people meet or how dating works anymore. That said, I think I am ready to try though with my dad living with me it poses different challenges. Considering dating is a huge step for me...and really being ready to possibly meet someone. Clint's death was so difficult for a long time I was closed and still have fear of opening my heart again - I would like to NEVER feel that pain again. However, I believe I am ready now to test the waters. If I can only figure out how!
New Year's resolution - I have only one...that is to be happy. I need to actively seek balance in my life and that will bring peace which should help restore happiness to my stressed and over busy world. I want to literally stop and smell the flowers, bask in the warmth of the sunshine, gaze upon the beauty of the night sky. Looking forward to a new year with joy and gratitude.
Wishing all who choose to stop and read my humble musings a lovely new year filled with blessings.
Feel free to comment, just please be kind. As mama always said "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"
