I have recently spent quite a bit of time reflecting on my life; where it is, where I want it to go, the past, the present and the future. I started this blog after my husband died and I was trying to find my way through grief and figure out who I was. I have realized that who I am is continuing to evolve. For so long I had identified myself as a wife but that ended abruptly with Clint's passing. So while I know my new role - simply as me being me I am still trying to figure out life and who I am evolving to be. I had decided to abandon this blog and just live but recently and with other life changes that have occurred decided that perhaps for the new year I should resurrect and try my hand at it again.
A lot of things that have happened since I last posted. Some good, some challenging. I've had some wonderful experiences and I was able to get a grief ministry started at my Church as well as facilitate a Life Group for people who have experienced a loss and are seeking God's purpose/direction in their lives. I have always wanted to take my experience and help others. Other big changes are my dad was ill this past year and has moved in with me; this brings peace of mind that I can keep an eye on him but has also been a major change in my life. I have to be cognizant of his needs in my role of supportive care giver and this has impacted my choices in what I do, where I go etc. He is currently reliant upon me for transportation and I know this has been difficult for him since he is independent and I am busy working two jobs. Hopefully he will resume driving soon and that should help both of us. I won't go into all that has happened since my last post since I am focused on looking and moving forward.
A new year, another new beginning always brings reflection on where I've been and where I want to go. This time last year I was making tentative plans to reenter the dating world....it has been so very long since I dated that I really don't know how people meet or how dating works anymore. That said, I think I am ready to try though with my dad living with me it poses different challenges. Considering dating is a huge step for me...and really being ready to possibly meet someone. Clint's death was so difficult for a long time I was closed and still have fear of opening my heart again - I would like to NEVER feel that pain again. However, I believe I am ready now to test the waters. If I can only figure out how!
New Year's resolution - I have only one...that is to be happy. I need to actively seek balance in my life and that will bring peace which should help restore happiness to my stressed and over busy world. I want to literally stop and smell the flowers, bask in the warmth of the sunshine, gaze upon the beauty of the night sky. Looking forward to a new year with joy and gratitude.
Wishing all who choose to stop and read my humble musings a lovely new year filled with blessings.
Feel free to comment, just please be kind. As mama always said "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"
You go girl!!
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